Archive for the ‘surrender’ category

A book and some songs

July 16, 2010

There are things that I want to do in life that I have not actually done– well who doesn’t have any? But these two things are, for me, overdue already… or let’s just say, maybe God has a timing and could this be it?

About 8 years ago I felt like compiling love stories of some friends and pastors that I know. I have compiled about 8 already,ours included. But somehow I wasn’t that confident to have it printed. At that time we were actually praying for ways and means to raise support for our going out as missionaries. So that idea remained to be just an idea, up until this time.

The other thing that we would have wanted to do was to record our songs and sell some CD’s for fund raising. Again, another idea “hidden under the basket”.

While here in Nations course, I got to know so many new people from different backgrounds, and yes, the ever curious me again pryed on some love stories. Then Abby just blurted out one afternoon, “why don’t you write on people’s love stories?” I was taken aback. I am sure I have not mentioned it to her. Confirmation? The funny thing was when we watched “Letters to Juliet”, there was a part there that this guy said to Sophie, the leading actress, “you should write, that is your passion…” something like that. Another confirmation? haha.. well, well, well…

Just tonight I was searching on who originally composed the “Revelation song”– a song popularized by Kari Jobe and Gateway worship. It has become popular, and I just loved that song. All the while I thought it was Kari who composed that, but I was shocked to find out that it was composed by an ordinary mom. She was waiting for her pasta to cook when the Lord just gave her that tune and she was reading the book of Revelation. She did not want to share the song at first and just kept it to herself. I thought about my songs. Should I just hide them? Of course I don’t expect to be famous or my songs to be well known worldwide but why is it that now, I have began thinking a lot about these things, things that have always been in my heart, but I just hid, over the years?

I would like to think that this is all about Him. And if God really wants me to do this, I would. A book and some songs… for the One who loves me and died in my place. All for His glory.


My Home

July 13, 2010

If you have been following my blogs right from the start, you would have read about me whispering “I’m home” the moment the plane landed Thailand soil 9 months ago. I meant that. Not that I have turned my back against beloved Philippines or I am not a patriotic person. The truth is, I am. Very much in fact… and I don’t care if you call me ethnocentric, but I am proud to be Pinoy.

But really, if you have waited for over 15 years to go to the mission field, considering that I knew I was going to be a missionary at the age of 17 or so… you would probably say the same thing when the plane lands on the mission field. I would not even be surprised if you would shout it out. Long years of waiting… what a journey it has been.

9 months later all the realities in the field sink in… and I would have a chance to go back to the Philippines for a couple of days. I saw to it that I got to do the things that I missed doing (or eat what I have been missing) in Thailand. It felt great to be home. So… now, where is home, really?

I know I am supposed to be here and I have come to love Thailand as my own country… because I am called by God to be here. I see myself here for a long time. Part of me longs to see my kids, just a few hours plane ride away. I am here, and yet I am entirely not.

Just now I got my guitar and sang my heart out. As I strummed and just let my heart out, I know exactly where home is. Home is where He is… His embrace, His assurance, His voice, His touch. He is where my heart belongs, and He… He will always, always, always! be my home.

Gi-normous God

May 21, 2010

Louie Giglio coined the term “gi-normous”– for a gigantic and enormous God we have! We have just finished watching “Indescribable” and “How great” with Ptr. Sergs and Ate Me-ann tonight. We have watched these films for the nth time, but it always make me cry everytime. I just can’t get enough of it!

Now came a reply from the Lopburi Language school that they would need 7,500 THB for a deposit for our language learning. I am going home next week and when I come back, it will be in time for the Nations course where we would need 1,200 USD to cover the course alone, excluding dinner and transportation costs. Shortly after that, Lopburi classes begin. When we study at Lopburi we would need 15,000 THB for the language courses per month, and we still have to pay for rent and food. I cannot help it– I am overwhelmed with the need. I mean God has been so faithful at meeting our needs here in Bangkok, no question about that. But it seems to me like all these needs piling on top of each other is just so overwhelming.

So I was saying that we just saw two amazing videos declaring how amazing, Gi-normous, great our God is. The star-breather, the one who created the universe without even lifting a finger. The one who created billions of stars in galaxies beyond our comprehension. I sing about Him, I claim to believe in Him, but really… how much do I trust HIM?

moving on!

November 9, 2009
I did not feel comfortable posting my other blog. In fact, I only came back now.. after a few days. I did not want to look at what i have posted and I was afraid of the comments… I did not want to sound like I was having a pity party (although, to be honest, at the time of my writing that blog, I did have one!) I have to tell you, it was not a fun party at all. But after finally having the courage to look at my blog, I was just so encouraged by two ladies who have been in the field, faithfully serving as missionaries in South Thailand– Ate Warlit, the ever faithful, smiling, and never -seem- to- have- any -stress- at all missionary.. I remember completely how we tried to advocate for her but I guess with the the business of my personal life, the passiveness of the people I tried to connect her with… I just stopped advocating for her, and to be honest, stopped giving financially as well. But I have to say this, we prayed for her everyday. Now that I am in the field, I am trying to understand the people who are left in my home country.. that they are busy, that they too, have needs, that life goes on for them, without me– that is the exact same words Ate Elsie Reyes-Cook shared at a missions conference. It is a painful fact that the people who seem to miss you will come to a point that they have to stop missing you (haha.. if i am looking for that pa importante effect, di na lang sana ako nag missionary noh? ). Ate Warlit encourages me in so many ways.. her deep faith, her seemingly endless joy and her unwavering devotion. Now that I am in the field for 2 months now, I know I could go on. For one thing, He who calls us is faithful and He will and can complete the work that He has started.. and yes, I have people like Ate Warlit who has gone before me– cheering me on, praying for me and loving me. Then there’s Janet. If I am not mistaken, I have met her in person only once. A petite young lady i think in her early 20’s , Janet with my good friend Aisha went to South Thailand with so much faith and passion to see the lost saved. We have not been in touch for years, but I do hear good news about her. That she married a great guy, one with a missionary heart like hers. Lately we have been in touch through YM, Facebook and of course, she, in a way has mentored me in blogging. Like Ate Warlit, Janet cheers me on– her life and the many others I look up to are such great inspiration. I cannot quit now. I have to move on, I have to be strong. This is God’s design for me! If Ate Warls and Janet made it (or still doing it, after all these years), I can do this too. Yes, I can. Yes, I can! I can! I will, Lord. Then there is Gen. I met him at a youth camp sometime in 2007. When he spoke, I remember saying to Joey, “here’s one guy who speaks our language.” No, he is a Genuine Ilocano and spoke Tagalog then, but what I meant was … he was sharing about leaving a heritage for the next generation… loving our children, teaching our kids and their generation about the fear of the Lord and purity..The exact same things that was in our very hearts!! We had been in touch. Funny, when Gen and I chat at YM, he is so… “Ate, you share pa.. I want to know more.” I often tell him, he is the brother I never had. Now, more than ever, I am determined to move on with my calling. With Ate Warlit and Janet ahead of me, and Gen behind me. More than these three people I have mentioned (sila lang kasi ang nag comment, eh! haha).. there are many others who inspire me. Missionary friends, strong and faithful as ever.. young people who are about to join in the battle force.. the lost out there whose voices are calling me… This voice within me saying “Obey the Lord..” the voice from above saying “Go!”… I have no reason to give up now. I am blessed to be in this battle, with the Commander, the King of kings ensuring me sure victory!


All that I need

October 30, 2009

While writing my other blog, I was reminded of this song I wrote years ago. It has never been sung in church but whenever I have a chance to grab a guitar, I always sing this. Now in Thailand, I realized why God let me write this song. This has never been so real to me as it is now.

I have come to a place of surrender
A point of no return
I have come to a place of abandon
A point of letting go

(so) won’t you take me into your arms again?
Won’t you hold me
Never let me go
And embrace me like there’s no tomorrow
Jesus You’re all I need…
All that I need